


The Kind of Love I Don’t Want (Your Unsaturated Love)

by Sunarins_Tinkerlin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Growing Up Together, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28573083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunarins_Tinkerlin/pseuds/Sunarins_Tinkerlin
Summary: The last thing Oikawa wanted was to fall in with his best friend. He didn't want any sort of unsaturated love coming from Iwaizumi.Or in which Oikawa grades his love for his childhood friend as saturated and in which Iwaizumi regrets.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 12





	The Kind of Love I Don’t Want (Your Unsaturated Love)

Oikawa Tooru had always been someone kin to hiding his feelings. Through every word and every action was an extensive process of filtering, which he had perfected throughout the years.

However, when he stood by the side of Iwaizumi Hajime, letting down this facade of his had become almost convenient, having a safe and comfortable place to stay.

It was the day before their graduation ceremony that Oikawa suddenly realized his feelings for his childhood friend. They were casually talking about prom when, at the mention of Iwaizumi's date, Oikawa felt his heart clench and ache. Not too sure if it was the idea of separating with his longtime friend, the one he spent most of his days with, or the thought of Iwaizumi dancing with someone else at prom, he felt the slow gaping of his heart.

"Say, Iwa-chan. You'd tell me if you ever had a crush or fell in love with someone, right?"

"What the heck do you mean, Nosykawa?"

"Oh c'mon, I just want to know if you ever like someone! It's called caring for your best friend, not being nosy!", said Oikawa, a little whiny.

"Then, to answer your question, yeah I'd tell you, dumbass. We're best friends for a reason.", replied Iwaizumi with an eye roll.

It was fairly simple, Oikawa thought. He didn't need to confess, he could simply wait until these feelings faded away. Whether it took a few months or a few years, he knew Iwaizumi would never return the feelings he carried for the shorter male.

The night after prom, Oikawa cried the most he had in his 17, almost 18, years of life. Although he would argue that it was because graduating had never felt so real at the moment, he knew deep down that a part of him couldn't stand staying away from Iwaizumi, especially with his feelings weighing heavily on his heart.

The day where they had to part ways came way to quickly to Oikawa's contentment. Neither of the two boys knew what was going to happen, but both of them had promised to call each other at least once a week, and if lucky they would call every day. Unfortunately, Oikawa still had to deal with his feelings for Iwaizumi and it really didn't help when one day, Iwaizumi brought up the topic of crushes during one of their daily calls.

"Well, I guess you could say I have a crush. But I really doubt they feel the same way... What about you, Iwa-chan? Has anyone caught your eye?", said Oikawa playfully.

"Well, actually... Yea, perhaps...", replied Iwaizumi with a cute blush on his face.

"No, really?! Our cold Iwa-chan actually has a crush?! Wait till I tell Makki and Mattsun about it.", yelled Oikawa, trying to hide the fact that he was silently dying inside.

"Shut up, Crappykawa! What do you mean 'cold'? I catch feelings too okay!?"

"Yea, yea. Cold-Iwa."

After his second year in College, Oikawa learned the existence of Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi's boyfriend. They had met at a coffee shop where Kageyama had gotten his part-time job the summer after his graduation. After a bit of talking, Iwaizumi and Kageyama quickly started dating once the younger started attending the older's College as a first year.

Every time Iwaizumi mentioned his boyfriend, Oikawa's smile faltered a little, words reminding him of the unrequited love he carried around on his shoulders.

Years go by and all of Oikawa's saturated love for Iwaizumi started to slowly kill him, little by little. Seeing them make out at parties their friends had organized, witnessing Iwaizumi's proposal and attending their wedding had shattered Oikawa, mentally and physically. His elegant posture had stumbled and his comfort place next to Iwaizumi became poison-like, suffocating him at any thought of confiding into his best friend.

Truth to be told, he didn't know when he started to distance himself from the one person he loved, appreciated more than anything in the world and looked up to the most. Heck, he didn't even know if the label of 'best friends' still represented their relationship.

Oikawa was a mess and he knew it. He also knew that Iwaizumi knew, but said person didn't want to push it, since he didn't want to overstep boundaries. However Oikawa had silently hoped that his best friend would disrespect his privacy and ask him. For all the times Iwaizumi had overstepped his personal space, why did he chose this time, of all times, to respect this stupid wall he had built up over the years. If only Iwaizumi had pushed it, had asked Oikawa what was going on, he would have told him. Alas, Iwaizumi didn't ask his childhood friend anything that concerned this matter.

One night, when Oikawa was drunk, he skipped over to Iwaizumi and Kageyama's house, bringing this letter he had written when he was sober.

"Iwa-chan~", old habit of his coming back since he wasn't thinking straight. "Here, take this. Open it only after I die. Don't try to peak! I'll know when you do~"

"What do you mean, Oikawa!", nicknames long forgotten since they started drifting apart. "Hey, where are you going?! Come back here! It's not safe for you outside, especially when you're drunk!"

That night, Oikawa was hit by a car and couldn't make it out alive.

Iwaizumi was guilty. He was always guilty.

Once he opened the letter Oikawa had given him the night of his passing, he felt extremely guilty. He was guilty of not being able to give Oikawa the saturated love Oikawa had for him. He was guilty of never asking his best friend what he wanted. He was guilty of not calling his best friend those trashy nicknames he gave him, the ones Oikawa always complained because he said they were like insults. The ones Iwaizumi knew Oikawa liked because only Iwaizumi had the privilege of insulting him. He was guilty of not telling Oikawa to love someone else, not him, because he couldn't love him back the way Oikawa loved him. There were a million things Iwaizumi was guilty of, but he couldn't take the guilt away. Because Oikawa wasn't there anymore.

Iwaizumi could never give Oikawa saturated love because his love for him was unsaturated. Oikawa knew that, but he still decided to keep his saturated love for Iwaizumi.


End file.
